Complaining about American Sports

      Americans play a variety of sports, but America's favorite sports are generally not well represented worldwide. There are many wonderful sports in the world, but two of America's top three aren't even in the Olympics. Maybe they are not represented at the ultimate world competition because there are parts of American football and baseball that are utterly ridiculous.
      Americans recently finished their investment with the World Series. The World Series? So it includes baseball teams from all over the world? No. Maybe it's because Americans think that we are the best at everything (well of course we are), that our world only consist of the American Major League Baseball. Yes, I know there is one team from Canada. Wow, how exotic. They should really stop including "world" in the title. If you want to see a properly named world event, go to the World Cup.
      Another annoying thing about the World Series is how ridiculously long it takes. Seven games! Is that really necessary? I think they should mimic the UEFA Champions League and do two games, one away and one at home, and add the scores together. There's an easy way to balance home advantage and make it simple. But I guess baseball teams can do multiple series instead of single games, because baseball does not require that much exercise anyways.
      Football players get their dose of less exercise by only having one game per week. European soccer clubs have league games on the weekend with occasional cup games midweek, but is football seriously more tiring than soccer? Football players switch out between offense and defense, unlike the limit of three substitutions for over ninety solid minutes in soccer. Let me not forget to mention they can suck oxygen from the sidelines, and they can rest every time play stops. That is a lot of rest time; I wonder how a sport manages to have more stoppage time than actual playing.
      And how did they come up with the name football? Football makes use of hands more than feet to move the ball. But actually, general use of players has nothing to do with the ball; they just repeatedly run into each other. If you want to do that, don't be a wimp; lose the armor and go play rugby. And this method of play is all perfectly orchestrated. Before every play, the quarterback is looking at that thing on his arm, and is probably in contact with coaches, preplanning a play. In every other sport, players make up the play as they go along and that is part of the beauty of the game. In basketball, the American sport I have no problem with, players have to make quick intelligent decisions of where to pass. It requires more brain power, and brain power isn't being lost in collision concussions.
      Nevertheless, Americans all indulge in the same sports enthusiasm. I go to my high school football games (much more for the screaming than for the game). While most American spectators don't actually watch the game, maybe that is what Americans desire. We can't focus on a ninety minute soccer game for the glorious goal, and we require more commercial breaks than one long set at half time. When would we go get food? Americans don't have patience, so we need breaks and boring play so that we can multitask and get distracted. We only enjoy watching sport as a reason to scream and eat. It's the American way.